Lately I have been finding that reading the Bible is something that I just don't want to do. Sounds horrible, I know. But it seems it is just not catching my attention lately. When I do sit down to read it I ususally walk away with nothing except for the fact that I can say I read it. I don't learn anything, and half the time I find myself thinking about other things than what I am reading. And when I do focus on it, then it's either really boring to me or I don't quite get what it is saying. It doesn't matter if I read the old or new testament. I don't know what it is. And I do feel bad about it. I mean, we are suppose to read the Word, I guess every day, and yet I go for days upon days without reading it. And I don't miss it when I don't read it. How could I feel that way about our Lord's word? Am I some kind of horrible Christian? I get pretty sick of all the "Christian" things we have to do....read the Bible, pray, go to church, be nice to people (yes, that can be a hard one for me)...I feel like prayer is dry and the Bible is boring..and quite honestly I don't care for church all that much. I do like the people, they all seem nice and great (well, most of them)...but what is it? Am I getting tired of Christianity? I do want to say that I love God and Jesus more than anything and I would never say that I don't believe in them..cuz I do...I don't know where I would be without Jesus..but all the "things" you are suppose to do...it drives me crazy. It turns me off. So when I die...is God going to look at me and say-"ya know Maria, you didn't read your Bible all the time and you even said it was boring...I'm going to have to let you suffer for that"......that scares me! I want nothing more than to spend eternity with my Lord and Savior. But this Christian stuff...man, it's getting old.
posted by Maria Purviance at
6:46 AM
2 Comments:
it's so crazy you are bringing this up. Trevor and I just started attending a small group last night. This exact thing came up and most of us were feeling the same way. Word for word what you just said. We are reading a book called "Come THirsty" by max lucado. I recommend you pick it up. It is so refreshing for the dehyrated soul. I don't have advice as of yet other then you need to get around fellow believers...make a friend. That's hard...i'm still trying to make a friend.
I was JUST looking at the book this week! It was just on sale at our local Christian bookstore! I just LOVE Max!!
On another note, I completely understand. It was like someone flipped a switch once I became a mom. I was always so tired. And lonely (I felt deserted by my non-married or married-but-childless friends). And I think I just needed something more....and more tangible. I have struggled with this very thing for two and a half years, and it's amazing how God finds ways to kick my butt into gear sometimes. I have been trying to find something that keeps me interested. For instance...I have considered reading Genesis, because the subject of circumcising our sons has come up frequently, and Genesis speaks of circumsicing on the 8th day. Midwives suggest the same thing for biological reasons. So reading Genesis through with the intention of researching the subject makes it a little more interesting and easier to read for me. Then there's Romans. A very easy book for me to understand (ADD, here, and need low-mental-challenges), and more story-like....so it holds my attention a little better. I love proverbs, because it's easy to understand, and I will take scriptures and write them down converting versing from "...my SON" to ..."my DAUGHTER" to personalize the verse towards myself, so I feel like it's speaking to me directly.
You're not alone, as you can probably already tell my the two immediate comments, with likely more to come. We're humans. It's hard. But I don't think you'll get the boot from heaven for not reading your Bible everyday:) He cares more about the condition of your heart, but obviously the Bible works as a great conditioner:)
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