so i was just sitting here, reading my ever so boring sociology textbook..and i was wondering, who writes these things? i mean, can they make them any more boring? and then i find out that my father-in-law, yes, he wrote a textbook. he helped to bring yet a little more boredom into this world. hmmm.

Lately I have been finding that reading the Bible is something that I just don't want to do. Sounds horrible, I know. But it seems it is just not catching my attention lately. When I do sit down to read it I ususally walk away with nothing except for the fact that I can say I read it. I don't learn anything, and half the time I find myself thinking about other things than what I am reading. And when I do focus on it, then it's either really boring to me or I don't quite get what it is saying. It doesn't matter if I read the old or new testament. I don't know what it is. And I do feel bad about it. I mean, we are suppose to read the Word, I guess every day, and yet I go for days upon days without reading it. And I don't miss it when I don't read it. How could I feel that way about our Lord's word? Am I some kind of horrible Christian? I get pretty sick of all the "Christian" things we have to do....read the Bible, pray, go to church, be nice to people (yes, that can be a hard one for me)...I feel like prayer is dry and the Bible is boring..and quite honestly I don't care for church all that much. I do like the people, they all seem nice and great (well, most of them)...but what is it? Am I getting tired of Christianity? I do want to say that I love God and Jesus more than anything and I would never say that I don't believe in them..cuz I do...I don't know where I would be without Jesus..but all the "things" you are suppose to do...it drives me crazy. It turns me off. So when I die...is God going to look at me and say-"ya know Maria, you didn't read your Bible all the time and you even said it was boring...I'm going to have to let you suffer for that"......that scares me! I want nothing more than to spend eternity with my Lord and Savior. But this Christian stuff...man, it's getting old.

kayla, is he suppose to cry this much? it seems like a lot.

I can't believe that my anatomy book costs $220! For a book...CRAZY....I am super stoked to start classes though...tomorrows the day....once again a student!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME...tomorrow that is.

prayer is a little frustrating to me right now. when i pray i don't know what to say. i could say the same things i always say...certain things i ask for...or whatever...but that's so old to me. isn't prayer more? i feel like i am missing the excitment of prayer...there has got to be some excitment to it. some deeper meaning to it...i don' t feel very connected to God right now..maybe that's it...maybe that's why i find prayer to be a bit boring right now. nothing new. i do know God is listening...He has answered many of my requests..but i want prayer to be more than asking...i want to feel a new closeness with Jesus..a new sense of His being.

so i have been reading healthy sleep habits, happy child. i am in chapter two now. it talks about how around the three to four month mark you can start inforcing a schedule of some sort. first of all, do you guys think i put tyler to bed too late? could that be why he wakes up in the middle of the night when he is not even really hungry yet? he goes to bed around 9 to 10:30pm...any time between those times. what time do you think he should start going to bed? he takes naps in the evenings...sometimes long ones...he is tired a lot at night. but we just keep him up or let him catnap until later so he can eat later and then hopefully sleep for a good bit. but that isn't working and in the book it talks about how kids go to bed to late these days. so maybe i should be putting him to bed around 7:30 or 8? he pretty much has morning naps down...he sleeps from around 9 or 10 and sleeps anywhere from 1 to 2 hours. and in the afternoons he sleeps a few naps...but i am not worried aobut naps yet...like you guys have said..he is too young to inforce a definate schedule..but the night thing...just because he wakes up for no reason really, should i try putting him to bed earlier? i don't mind getting up to feed him at night, but whe he just wakes up to wake up that is no fun.

Do you guys think i need to start putting tyler on some kind of sleep schedule? when do you do that?